10 years after graduating

AJ

I came to school this afternoon feeling like shit cuz today is the class meeting and all my old "friends" will be here again. I don't know how to stand them telling about the pretty life they have.... Omigod why is my life such a disaster?!
The first years at Florida University were quite well. I started studying journalism with lotsa optimistic and the hope to become a TV reporter cuz I wanted to commentate football plays. I stopped playing football all day long and started to learn and tried to spend my spare time with Ruthie.... oh Ruthie... how could ya have done this to me???
I would love to met her again but at the same time I'm afraid to look her in the eyes... her beautiful eyes... I dunno what to say or how to behave...
"Yo man! Whassup??" Kevin gaves me a big hug. I haven't expected him to come but now I'm really happy to know him being with me. Maybe this evening wouldn't be as bad as I thougt... if I didn't have to tell anyboday about my life.
"I'm fine. What's about you? Do you like your football career?"
"You wouldn't believe how many girls would love to be with me now... There are some really beautifoul chicas but most of them are stupid... They fell in love with me... ya know... and then they are crying and such a stuff when they see me with another girl.
Oh man I'm so happy to see you. Do you have seen Erika again? I mean I knew how she looks like you see her face in all kinda media. And where is Ruthie? I haven't heard about you since... ohmmm... since a long time?!"

Here we are now. - Ruthie - the main topic in my life. She is the one who decides if my life is worth something or if it is just shit. I've nothing if I don't have her, I'm nothing if she isn't with me. Kevin went on talking but I couldn't hear him I remember the words she said to me that day... I was like in trance...

Erika woke me up. She joined the other girls who were there. I wasn't surprised to see her in expensive clothes, a lot of jewelleries, make-up and the hair like Marylin Monroe. The last time I saw her was when Franco showed me the playboy. They was also a big articel about her career. She is the winner of a casting show for singers and now she is as famous as Beyoncé I guess. She has changed a lot. Now she could be proud of her life, Kevin too... Both have a future, they earn money - they would be the perfect couple. But what is perfect? Wasn't Ruthie and I the perfect couple?
And now she has destroyed my life. Bitch. I've lost my job. I had to leave my appartment. I've no home. My dad can't help me - he spends all his money in alcohol. And Franco, Franco is death... the drugs killed him. And the parents of Ruthie doesn't want me to see Anthony not before I have made a therapie. Anthony has the life that he ever deserved and I won't take him that. I can understand them. How will I care about him if I don't could care about my self. I can't do anything right, I couldn't even kill myself. I'm like my dad, the alcohol is my best friend. I'm alone... alone....

Then I saw Ruthie and all the pain came over me again. My heart was near to explote my feelings changed from hate to love, from despair to helpless in one second. I felt like crying. I was shaking, my body was cold and hot at the same time. I wished I could die. I'm tired of all the hurt.


"AJ, I need to talk to you."
"What happened honey? You look sad."
"I didn't meant to hurt you."
"What are you talking about? Calm down, baby and then tell me why you are so confused."
"I'm so sorry, I feel like a bitch."
"Don't say that darling!"
"I've slept with Christian."
- SILENCE -
"And now I'm pregnant."
"NO WAY!!! STOP KIDDING ME!!"
"I'm not kidding... Oh AJ I wouln't it ending this way... I never wanted to hurt you, please believe me... I still like you but..."
"HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
"I ..."
"HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT ME?!!
"Aj..."
"DAMN!!! SHUT UP!"
- Silence -
"Why???" I was crying "Why??"
"Christian has time, he understands me..."
"WHAT the hell... was it my fault that you slept with him?"
"I've never said that."
"You will leave me?"
She nodded
"Don't touch me!"
"I'm so sorry..."
"Stop that bullshit! Leave me alone..."
"Aj..."
"GO AWAY!!!"



I still love her, but seeing her pregnant, walking hand in hand with this white ass, I felt like killing her and her snob. Christian works in the company from his dad earning a million of dollar... I already see their future: " They live in a big white villa with 3 children. Dad is working and mom do care about the kids. Sometimes she works for a help organisation for the black community. They have a dog, bello. All sunday evenings the have dinner together. Ruthie is a great cook."
I have to throw up.



Aj left the school... Searching for the brigde nearest to him. Nobody has ever seen him again...